WHAT IS ENOUGH?

In a recent column for the Wall Street Journal, Carolyn T. Geer relates a story about a conversation between novelists Joseph Heller and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.  The two were guests at a lavish party on Shelter Island, New York.  Vonnegut joked to Heller that their host probably made more money in a day than all the earnings Heller had made from his best-selling novel, Catch-22.  Mr. Heller’s reply was something along the lines of, “Yes, but I’ve got something he can never have…enough.”

In a world of aggressive commercialism and rampant fear-based speculations about the future, it has become more and more difficult to determine just what is “enough”.  There is always something newer, better, faster on the horizon (that is, if there is a horizon at all, and we don’t just fall over another fiscal cliff.)

Eastern religions contain a concept called preta, or “hungry ghosts”.  Pretas are spirits that were jealous or greedy people in previous lives, and are pictured as beings with tiny mouths, long, skinny necks, and big, bloated, distended stomachs.  Their fate is to always be hungry and thirsty; but because of their limited ability to take in nourishment, they can never be satisfied.  These beings represent a grasping piggish energy and a sense of poverty that never quits.  In some cultures, they are shown compassion with offerings of food and drink, and serve as a reminder of how not to be.

One of the goals of Feng Shui is to find a balance between “too much” and “not enough” -- that good, healthy, nourishing place of “just right”.


Practitioners are encouraged to cultivate a wider view of life, to appreciate all the flavors of daily living, to live in the moment -- and to trust that life is a process that will not fail, despite all its ups and downs. Without this bigger picture, life devolves into a continuous state of “Catch-22” – always striving and hoping for “more”, and yet never satisfied when it gets here. With it, “enough” is just a shift of focus away.

THE BELIEVER...

As we head into another holiday season, and the stress and excitement of the upcoming festivities begin to fill our days, it’s good to take a moment to reflect upon the things for which we are truly grateful. Thanks to my friend, Catherine, for passing along the words of English writer, C.K. Chesterton, written over 100 years ago--

What has happened to me has been the very reverse of what appears to be the experience of most of my friends. Instead of dwindling to a point, Santa Claus has grown larger and larger in my life until he fills almost the whole of it. It happened in this way. As a child I was faced with a phenomenon requiring explanation. I hung up at the end of my bed an empty stocking, which in the morning became a full stocking.

I had done nothing to produce the things that filled it. I had not worked for them, or made them or helped to make them. I had not even been good – far from it. And the explanation was that a certain being whom people called Santa Claus was benevolently disposed toward me…

And, as I say, I believe it still. I have merely extended the idea. Then I only wondered who put the toys in the stocking; now I wonder who put the stocking by the bed, and the bed in the room, and the room in the house, and the house on the planet, and the great planet in the void. Once I only thanked Santa Claus for a few dolls and crackers; now I thank him for stars and street faces and wine and the great sea.

Once I thought it delightful and astonishing to find a present so big that it only went halfway into the stocking. Now I am delighted and astonished every morning to find a present so big that it takes two stockings to hold it, and then leaves a great deal outside. It is the large and preposterous present of myself, as to the origin of which I can offer no suggestion except that Santa Claus gave it to me in a fit of peculiarly fantastic good will…

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

A week ago I attended a memorial service for Dennis Delap, a Northampton realtor who passed away unexpectedly in October. Though his life had touched my own only briefly, in 2005, through the sale of my home, his caring and kindness were the qualities that made a stressful process go smoothly, and end well. As his friends, family, and colleagues came to the podium to talk about his life, I began to get a picture of the man that Dennis was – and the very many ways that his generous and intelligent spirit will live on in the people he inspired.

 
Dennis was accomplished in many areas: he studied philosophy on a Fulbright Scholarship at the university in Heidelberg,Germany; he went on to pursue a doctorate at M.I.T. and UMass; and he was an accomplished oil painter, as well as a musician. He traveled extensively, was active politically and socially, and cared about the environment, particularly about land conservation. But the gratitude and love that were expressed by the people in Dennis’ life, both personal and professional, paint a picture of a man who truly cared about others, and strived to make the world a better place. His brother-in-law offered the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson to illuminate Dennis' life --

 
   To laugh often and much;

   To win the respect of intelligent people
   and the affection of children;

   To earn the appreciation of honest critics
   and endure the betrayal of false friends;

   To appreciate beauty;
   To find the best in others;

   To leave the world a bit better, whether by
   a healthy child, a garden patch,
   or a redeemed social condition;

   To know even one life has breathed
   easier because you have lived;

   This is to have succeeded.


As we head into another holiday season, and the stress and the excitement of upcoming festivities begin to fill the days, it’s good to take a moment to reflect upon a life well-lived. As I look out into the trees, from my office window in the house that I moved to seven years ago – a house that is “just right” for my life right now -- I have to give thanks to Dennis for his guidance, support, and genuine good cheer.  You will not be forgotten...

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT...



This week I had the privilege of attending the 19^th Women Business Owners Conference co-sponsored by the Massachusetts Small Business Development Center, Western Regional Office, and held at the beautiful Willits-Hollowell Center at Mt. Holyoke. The topic this year was “Change Agents” – individuals who recognize and seize opportunities and work to improve society’s problems.  Some of their characteristics are persistence, courage, compassion, clarity, vision, and as one panel member put it, being a “pain-in-the-ass!”

The six women on the panel presented an amazing array of business experiences and life stories; and were themselves of different ages and backgrounds. The last speaker, Shalini Bahl, a consultant and researcher specializing in programs for Mindfulness in business, social media, and academia -- spoke about the ups and downs of being someone trying to make a difference in the world, but having a life to manage.  She acknowledged that there were probably people in the audience (I was one!) who were feeling that they couldn’t possibly match the energy and accomplishments of the speakers on the panel. 

Shalini said that the two things that saved her when she was in a down phase in her life were meditation and helping others.  She also encouraged us to realize the tremendous power of asking for what you want. In Feng Shui and other forms of healing work, it is true that energy follows thought, so we are always reminded to think of what we want, not what we don’t want.  If we can allow our thoughts to be positive, and, if we can stay open to possibilities, the universe unfailingly comes through with the answer to our most deeply held wishes.

I’ve also learned that in order to be able to connect with what you want, you have to “walk the walk”.  Someone in the audience asked the women on the panel what was the biggest risk that they had to take to bring about their current success.  One of the panelists, who owns a very successful marketing firm, said that she had to get a divorce, and be willing to invest all of her money in a bigger office when the firm was ready to grow. Very scary, but, she said, in both instances she had reached a place where the way ahead was very clear; she found the strength to do what needed to be done. 

At the close of the conference, Lynne Randall, the MSBDC moderator, gave all of us a challenge – to do something every day that we are not used to doing.  In small ways we can practice moving out of our comfort zone by varying routines, clearing out some clutter, reaching out to a new colleague.  Finding ways to embrace small changes within ourselves actually changes the energy around us, ultimately rippling out into the world and leading us to those people and situations that help us to grow – and be the change in the world we wish to see.

POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION...



I traveled to Fitchburg, MA last Saturday to give a workshop to a lovely group of people at the Center for Well Being.  Knowing that there has been a variety of road construction going on over the summer, I allowed extra time to arrive early and set up.  I didn’t count on the Mapquest route taking me all the way to the downtown area, only to arrive at a bridge that was closed for repair.  The McDonald’s across the street was able to supply me with a clean bathroom and directions via another bridge; but when I got over the second bridge I found that I was completely disoriented. 

After driving up and down Main Street a couple of times, I began to get anxious as I could see that the minutes were ticking by – so near and yet so far!  I finally stopped and asked a woman who was just getting into her Jeep if she knew where Bond Street was.  Yes, she did, but as she started to tell me how to get there, it became obvious that the way was complicated.  Then she said, “You know what? I’ll take you there.” 

In a few minutes that wonderful woman had guided me back through town to the other end, up some steep winding side streets, until I finally recognized where I was.  We pulled over, and as she came out to wish me a good workshop, I thanked her and said, “You’re an angel.”  She was.  After that, the day was like a breeze.

There is an area of the Bagua (the tic-tac-toe shaped map that gets laid over your floorplan) that is called Heaven, and has to do with Helpful Friends – angels in your life that make a difference when you need it. This area or gua is located at the bottom right corner of your space as you are facing in from the vantage point of your front door.  If you would like to attract more friends, or just more helpful energy in general, this is the area to work in.  The simple act of cleaning and clearing clutter, with a feeling a gratitude for all of the wonderful help that we have received during our lives – is enough to energize this area, and keep a good thing going.

I’ve decided that the best way for me to say thank you for the favor that a stranger did me last Saturday is to do the same for someone else.  As our hostess at the Center for Well Being, Bea, says, “Gratitude is a powerful emotion.”  It goes a long way to make a difference in the world…

A TIME TO HEAL...

It has been eleven years since I began my formal study of Feng Shui.  The New England School of Feng Shui held its first class that year in Worcester, MA on the Saturday following September 11.  Like everyone else, we were all struggling to understand the tragedy that had taken place a few days earlier; and, as the weekend progressed,  we came to realize that this ages-old, yet very practical, wisdom had much to offer a world in dire need of balance and hope.

Our teachers have encouraged us not to turn away from what is, but to acknowledge it; at the same time, as Feng Shui practitioners we need to be able to visualize what can be.  I see this path as a life-long practice and a way of living each day with gratitude.  And, while it cannot stop bad things from happening, it can make us stronger, more resilient, and better able to cope with whatever life brings us.

Over the past decade I have seen circumstances improve in the lives of clients and colleagues who have taken this very life-affirming practice to heart. And, yes, I have seen miracles occur, both in my own life, and the lives of those who were willing to look at their living and working spaces with new eyes. 

Our spaces act as mirrors of our inner state, affecting us deeply on both a conscious and unconscious level.  However, since we are part of our environment, we can influence and change it with the right intention -- one that is beneficial not only to ourselves, but also to the highest good of all concerned…

THE OTHER GOLD...

My dear friend, Carolyn, came for a visit last week, and it was great to catch up after a long hiatus.  Our friendship goes all the way back to sophomore year in college, when we would hang out in her tiny -- but “single” -- dorm room on Bay State Road in Boston.  I always loved escaping to Carolyn’s space because she had made it magical, whimsical, inviting, and cool – my first taste of Feng Shui, as I look back on it.  I remember being surprised and delighted by how a few objects and images, thoughtfully placed, could awaken a space to life.

Feng Shui uses an imaginary map, called the Bagua, to enhance and gather information about living and working environments.  Looking like a tic-tac-toe board, with nine equal areas, called guas, the Bagua adjusts to the shape of any floorplan.  If you are standing at the front door and looking into the space, the area at the bottom right corner is called “Heaven”, and is also known as the “Helpful Friends” area.  This is where friendships may be honored, loyal and trustworthy help may be requested, and those companions who watch over and assist us (“angels”, if you will) – are recognized.  From this energetic viewpoint, we are nudged and encouraged to be at the right place at the right time, to pick up on the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle ways) the universe is speaking to us, and to find our flow.

As the Olympic Games in London are drawing to a close, the world is savoring the display of truly amazing physical prowess of athletes from every nation.  The celebration of Olympic gold, silver, and bronze brings to mind an old camping song about friendships, new and old --“one is silver, the other – gold!”