TIME FOR EXPANSION...

The practice of Feng Shui involves identifying the places in your home which unsettle, worry, bother, and disturb – the places you avoid. These are precisely the places that are calling for attention, for light, for activation and healing. These spots may sit for months, years, and even decades ignored and gathering dust; however, they are instilling the environment with an ever-growing force of stagnation and decline.

I spent my early years in the ethnically diverse section of Springfield called Indian Orchard. My Polish grandparents came to America in the early 1900's, started a family, and worked hard to put down roots that would provide a launching point for a better life. They planted apple trees, pear trees, and a cherry tree in the small but sunny backyards of their multi-dwelling enclave. I have imagined that the earlier residents of the land enjoyed its gentle sweetness in a similar way centuries ago.

Because my mother wasn't Catholic, I didn't go to the Catholic school across the street but walked every day to the public elementary school. I was a quiet child, labeled “shy”, but in spite of it, I was able to make some good friends. I met a nice girl named Diane in the second grade and brought her home one day after school to play. I remember very clearly her leaving through the front door, stepping down the stairs, and along the walkway toward her parents, who were picking her up. And, as soon as they were gone, my mother saying to me, “Don't you ever bring her here again.”

I can recall the shock I felt in that moment, the mixture of rage, helplessness, and grief, as well as the sure knowledge that “my mother is wrong!” I was seven years old, but I had had my first clear and undeniable experience of racism. My friend Diane also had a label, and her skin was brown. Not so clear and explicit, but just as smothering, was the realization at that same age, seven, that it's not so good to be a girl – boys have it much better, and it's better to be a boy.

My parents gave me many good things, set me up with strength and resilience to make the journey through life. During my first weekend of formal learning at The New England School of Feng Shui, which happened to take place just a few days after 9/11, our teacher, William Spear, emphasized the impact our parents have on shaping our lives. We can blame them for what they did “wrong”, or we can accept that they were probably trying their best – and acknowledge how something good can come out of something that was bad.

It seems to me that it is finally the time for this country to go to those places in its “house” that it has not wanted to deal with – those places that disturb, unsettle, but which are crying out for attention and light. As I have seen in my practice time after time, this process is not one to fear; but, instead, is one that brings the blessings of relief, release – and freedom.

TIME FOR PLAY...

In the final hours of this tumultuous year of 2016, there is the human need to recap and revisit – and, hopefully, to regroup for what is ahead. Besides all of the seismic events on the national political scene, we each have our own lives and life events, which can have the power to shift our personal landscapes as well. For me, the past year contained the sorrow of losing beloved family pets, the joy of reconnecting with old friends, the sense of accomplishment in finally getting a Smartphone and learning how to text, family health scares, babysitting emergencies, and, through it all, the refuge and wonder of the natural world...

One of the highlights of the year was back in the Spring, when I received a call from my good friend, Libby, who lives in a log home built against a hillside in Leverett. Her back “yard” resembles a Chinese landscape painting, replete with nestled boulders and sheltering pines. Libby was inviting me to come and observe a family of grey foxes which had set up housekeeping in a cave-like space created by a juxtaposition of boulders about halfway up the hillside. From the comfort of a small window in her bedroom, she had been watching the comings and goings of the parents, as well as the antics of the five (adorable!) kits. On sunny days, such as the one during which I visited, there were naps on the warm rocky ledges outside the den, and then lots of nipping, wrestling, and tumbling – followed by lunch with Mom.

About a week later I heard from Libby again, this time to let me know that the foxes had disappeared sometime during the night, and life had become extraordinarily quiet. However, she also felt extraordinarily lucky to have had the chance to witness the growing and nurturing of this wild family – and to have been able to provide a safe setting for their activities. Late one afternoon, much later in the summer, she looked out the window to see the male parent, handsome and identifiable because of a crooked ear, sitting on his favorite mossy rock. She went outside to her deck to look, and, upon seeing her, the fox made a couple of circles and flopped down on his spot to stare back at her. She felt that it was an exceptional moment.

From time to time we have to be reminded that life is filled with miracles, and sometimes we only have to look out the window to catch one. As a turbulent year comes to an end, a year that has seen hopes dashed, shock and grief, ugliness and anger, common decency and values turned upside down, there is some relief in knowing that not even the pundits have all the answers. We need to stayed tuned in, stay open, and not forget a sense of wonder...

MOTHER KNOWS BEST...

MOTHER KNOWS BEST, and this is a good time to dot your i's and cross your t's, according to an ancient form of astrology based upon the I Ching, or Book of Changes. The Chinese Solar New Year begins on February 4, and we have entered a 2 Earth year which carries a much more stable, predictable, reliable energy than the preceding drama-filled impulsive 3 Thunder year.

Each of the 9 numbers in this system are associated with members of the family, and the Mom force comes front and center this year. Those born in a 2 year, male or female, are generally helpful, supportive, diplomatic, somewhat conservative, and always dependable. In fact, it is the ever-reliable 2 who can be counted on to come in and clean up the messes made by everybody else!

The 2 Earth energy is also concerned with relationships and partnerships, and this is a good time to examine these areas, or lack thereof. To be in relation to others, particularly those who are closest to us, requires that we be truly open and receptive to another. This can be a difficult task, but we can practice on ourselves. We can develop the ability to love more deeply by treating ourselves with kindness and compassion. If we can find ways to be gentler, friendlier, softer – to ourselves – we then can pass along these gifts to the people we love.

A TIME FOR LOOKING BACK...

My mother's cousin, Charles, just celebrated his 97^th birthday. I feel privileged to have wished him a happy one – not just because of the number, but because a year ago he was, for me, just a name in an old genealogy file. Computer-savvy and curious, Charles contacted me out of the blue last spring after reading my mother's obituary online. I knew my mother had lost contact with her father's side of the family in Belchertown, Massachusetts after her parents split up when she was a young teenager. Although my grandmother moved only 23 miles away to Springfield, they might as well have been on the other side of the moon as far as keeping in touch with family left behind. As a result, my sister and I grew up with gaps in the flow of information about the past; as children, we took this as normal.

This year, the Chinese Solar New Year, which began on February 4, features the energy of 3 Thunder, according to an ancient form of astrology based on the I Ching, or Book of Changes. A Thunder year is all about roots, ancestors, and origins – in other words, a moment to take another look at the past. We have just emerged from a 4 Wind year in which energy was scattered, fast-moving, and hectic – efforts bearing fruit only with strong focused intent. Thunder's energy can be sudden and startling – however, it can remind us of the vitality at the core of life, and push us to experience our lives more fully.

Turns out Charles is the family historian, with cartons and drawers of

memorabilia dating as far back as the 1800's, as well as an active Ancestors.com account. He has brought to life for me people of my mother's lineage who were not much more than wispy figures, names on a sheet of paper – cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents who were a real part of my mother's childhood, helping to shape the feisty independent woman she became. 

In getting to know Charles, I have been surprised by a sense of humor and optimistic nature very similar to my mother's. It doesn't seem a coincidence that my mom was born in another “3” year, 1916. People born during these years are hopeful by nature; and, if hope can be defined as “the confident expectation of good”, this is something with which we can all recharge our batteries in the year ahead.

FINDING A PERFECT BALANCE...

My sister, Linda, and I chose a sparkling September day to set out on a river cruise aboard the Maine-built wooden boat, the Seguin. We were visiting the Maine Maritime Museum in the city of Bath, which is situated on the Kennebec River and famous for its centuries-old shipbuilding industry. Seguin's captain, Dave, mentioned that in the coming weeks the cruise would lure many serious photographers eager to capture a perfect view of the six lighthouses located along the Kennebec.

The Feng Shui “Theory of the Five Elements” may be applied to our natural attraction to lighthouses, with interesting results. The ancient sages observed that energy moves in five fundamental ways: downward, upward, outward, around, and inward. These movements are expressed in Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal; and are the building blocks of everything that we perceive in our world. The elemental forces are never static, but are constantly interacting with one another, sometimes creating, sometimes destroying.

In the natural scheme of things, water extinguishes fire. However, in this case, the brilliant, glowing, illuminating rays of the lighthouse are surrounded – but never quenched – by the deep, moving, often dangerous waters of the rivers and sea. There is hope and the promise of safety in the fact that this particular fire is constant and indomitable. Something deep within us is stirred by the knowledge that this small circle of brightness has the power to push back the night.

On the return journey, Captain Dave talked about the river itself, and the changes that have taken place over the past several decades. As we watched eagles flying overhead, and the sparkling water flowing by, Dave said that as a boy he couldn't swim or fish in the river – it was too polluted. 150 years of industrialization along the rivers had done their damage. But in an era before the environment was a part of everyday conversation, Maine's own Senator Edmund S. Muskie worked systematically to find solutions to air and water pollution. Senator Muskie was the driving force behind the Clean Air Act in 1970, and the Clean Water Act in 1972.

Human beings are most nourished in places that contain all of the five elements, and we had all of them that day: the pristine waters of the Kennebec, the tall white pines and spruce trees along the banks, the late summer sun, the immense rectangular shapes of the buildings of Bath Iron Works, and the pretty domes and arches of historic buildings of Bath. As the days are now getting shorter, and the New England winter is looming ahead, I'm going to be reminding myself that there is a perfect five-element day just a memory away.

ACHIEVING LIFT-OFF...

Because we have a family member who is struggling with dementia, my good friend Barbara recently lent me her copy of Pulling Taffy: A Year with Dementia and Other Adventures, by Tinky Weisblat. The author, a part-time resident of Hawley, MA, is not only a writer, but a singer, a humorist, and a food lover – and is especially attuned to how all of these good things can lift spirits and create community. Barbara reminded me that we met Tinky briefly about ten years ago when she was selling her Pudding Hollow Cookbook at an outdoor summer garden fest in Deerfield.



It was a surprise to find that what might be a tough or depressing subject in other hands became delightful reading in Tinky’s. This is not to say that she minimized the difficulties that both she and her mother had to endure in their last months together; but to a potentially heavy brew she added humor, insight, honesty, and a rich smattering of stories from her mother’s life. The result is a work that is both touching – and uplifting.



As a Feng Shui practitioner, the thing that struck me most about both Tinky and her mother Jan (affectionately called “Taffy”), was the quality of their personal energy, or chi. When a person’s chi is low, life can be hard or overwhelming; but when it is bubbling and moving, even the most challenging situations can be managed. It seems to me that both mother and daughter were able to find a vital source of refreshment within themselves, in spite of times that were certainly gray and bleak.



Tinky includes several photos of her mother in a variety of moments throughout her long interesting life. Here is clearly someone who was in LOVE with living! There is one of Jan as an infant sitting on her own mother’s lap – with a smile that spreads from ear to ear. This same smile lights up her 93-year old face, and makes us realize that it is a person’s ability to welcome life that defines their essence.



There are people among us who are inspiring because of their general cheerfulness and ability to appreciate the things around them. Tinky and Taffy were able to embrace the moment in their joy of simple things -- music, poetry, pets, food, sunshine and fresh air, the kindness of friends – certainly a recipe for good chi.

UP FROM THE ASHES...

My pals, Yoshi and José, and I were lucky enough to visit Xu Bing’s “Phoenix Project” last week during its final days at MassMoCA in North Adams.  I had seen pictures of the installation on the museum’s website; but the small images cannot really prepare you for stepping into a space the size of a football field to experience these immensely powerful, yet strangely elegant, beings.

Xu Bing, one of the most influential and prolific Chinese artists working today, was originally commissioned in 2007 to create a piece for the World Financial Tower, a luxury highrise construction in Beijing.  In contemplating the project, Xu Bing was struck by the squalid living conditions of the migrant workers whose incredible skills were being used to erect the sumptuous buildings changing the face of Beijing.  His decision to utilize scrap from constructions sites – demolition debris, steel beams, tools, conduit, empty fire extinguishers, even the workers’ hard hats – to create a pair of 10-ton mythical birds was later met with disapproval from the original funding source.

The artist persisted, however.  He found a new benefactor, continued to gather materials, put together a team of assistants, and over the next two years labored to bring his vision to life.  The male, “Feng”, is 90 feet from head to tail; and the female, “Huang”, is 100 feet long.  Their combined weight is over 20 tons.  Suspended from the rafters of MassMoCA’s huge gallery space, the pair evokes wonder and a sense of the extraordinary.  Like all good art (and like the practice of Feng Shui) these pieces have the power to surprise the viewer, to refresh – to reawaken a childlike curiosity.

“Phoenix” is moving on to the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City for an opening later this year.  On our holiday wish list is another viewing of these remarkable creatures – this time after dark.  Embedded within the intricate and imaginative structure of construction debris flotsam and jetsam, are tiny LED lights which, after nightfall, create the sense of constellations in the heavens.  Like the viewing of a favorite landscape within nature which changes with the seasons, I wonder if this mythical pair will reveal another aspect of their remarkable rise from the ashes of modern day society.

AN EMPTY VESSEL...

Almost 12 years ago, during the weekend following September 11, I began my study of Feng Shui in earnest. I was part of the second class of The New England School of Feng Shui, and most of us were a bit dazed as we stood in the hallway outside a Worcester hotel meeting room waiting to get checked in. Many of us had wondered if the class would start as scheduled after the events of the week; but, as we moved forward in line sniffing the pleasantly uplifting aroma of nag champa incense, we began to feel that this was movement in the right direction.



Our guest teacher that weekend was William Spear, the author Feng Shui Made Easy: Designing Your Life with the Ancient Art of Placement. Mr. Spear told us that he had been in New York City during the towers collapse, although he had been unaware of what was happening. He had been working with a client in a soundproof room all morning, and only after he completed the session did he realize that the city was in chaos. With the events of the week as a compelling backdrop, Mr. Spear encouraged us to cultivate the “beginner’s mind”, that is, a mind that is present within each moment – and not defined by thoughts of past or future.



One of the greatest skills a Feng Shui practitioner can develop is to acknowledge the reality that exists -- to not turn away from a difficult, problematic, complex world; and at the same time, to be able to visualize what can be. To do this, we have to constantly bring ourselves back to a receptive state, something characterized by the image of an empty vessel. Mr. Spear underscored the fact that as human beings, we are “meaning making machines”. We are always trying to explain things both to ourselves and each other -- when most people are really in a state of “don’t know”. Although it goes against the grain of our western culture, Mr. Spear suggested that if we could pull back and accept this sense of not knowing, it would galvanize us.



The first chapter of Feng Shui Made Easy is entitled, “A New Way of Being”. It starts with a proverb that continues to inspire me a dozen years after hearing it for the first time, “Empty vessels make the most noise”. When we are empty we’re full of possibility – it is the state of being empty that makes the vessel useful. Thank you, William Spear.

PUT THE GLASS DOWN...

Betrayal, hurt, disappointment, denial, injustice, sloppiness, pettiness, ineptitude, hostility, glumness, lying – anger, frustration, grief.  These are not the makings of a good vacation, but, as my dear mother used to say, “Into every life a little rain must fall.”  My sister and I recently returned from a used-to-be favorite faraway place having experienced all of these things due to a double-booking disaster that was not handled well by the parties responsible for the mix-up.

Everyone has been in situations like this one, and they are not easy to get through or get over.  In one of my "Clear Your Clutter the Feng Shui Way!" classes I shared the following anonymous Internet fable:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they would be asked the “half empty or half full” question.  Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired, “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 ounces to 20 ounces.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.  It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem.  If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm.  If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt.  And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.  As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night.  Remember to put the glass down!

When putting the glass down is difficult it is important to remember to patient and kind – with ourselves.  When we’ve been hurt it is OK to ask for a little help from our friends.  If we can stay open, and intent upon regaining balance, there will eventually be a moment when all that negativity can be neutralized and directed to more wholesome pursuits – freedom, truth, respect, integrity, clarity, common sense, humor, vitality, gratitude.  Paradise may not be lost, after all.

A TIME TO RE-INVENT...

In a class on spiritual development several years ago, I remember claiming that I had almost no clutter left.  I’ve had to laugh at myself many times since then, because, except in the world of politics, a less accurate statement could not have been made.  In fact, it has been only lately that I have gotten to some tightly held, hard-to-let-go-of stuff that has been stagnating in the back of my closet since the hippie days of youthful adventures. 

It really isn’t surprising that over the years the bulk of shopping mistakes, office apparel no longer needed, styles outgrown, items less than inspiring, has found its way to the Hospice Shop or Survival Center.  These things carefully encased in plastic, however, are a different category altogether: long-dormant items representing a time of life that is gone but not forgotten – a time close to the heart.

How fortunate that a light-bulb went off over my head not too long ago, and I realized that my very dear friend, Carolyn, might provide a solution and a reason to let go.  Carolyn has found many new sources of creativity since her retirement, among them building twig furniture, crocheting and, most recently, weaving.  Some of her projects involve taking old clothing, removing the seams, cutting up the material into strips that are then crocheted into rugs; or woven into runners, mug rugs, placemats, and so forth.  What better use for my beloved old wardrobe than to be reborn as something that I can actually use -- and enjoy!

So, the first set of clothing went off to Carolyn’s studio in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont and has returned as a table runner with a moon-rising-over-the-mountain theme.  I was so inspired by the colors, texture, and shapes of the completely new design before me that I sent Carolyn another set of outlived apparel, this time from my dancing phase of the mid-nineties.  The theme for the current project is water.  Without planning it, I am amazed to discover that we are working our way through the Feng Shui elements. Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal are all finding expression through the combination of my re-purposed fabrics and Carolyn’s loom.

As a Feng Shui practitioner I have to take my own advice on clutter-clearing.  It’s important to go slow and be kind to yourself, because when you’re working with your “stuff” you are working not only with the physical item, but with the energy behind that item.  If you are not ready to deal with an item – don’t.  There will come a moment when it will be just right to let it go.  In that letting go is freedom and rebirth, and a promise of something new that more truly reflects – and nourishes -- who you are now.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME...

We’re at the beginning of a new nine-year cycle, according to an ancient form of astrology called 9 Star Ki, which is based on the I Ching, or Book of Changes.  Each person’s star sign is determined by their year of birth beginning on February 4, the start of the Chinese Solar New Year.  Every year the signs rotate through a series of houses in a configuration known as the Bagua, or magic square, which may be pictured as a tic-tac-toe board with nine equal areas.  Each of these houses, or guas, has a particular energy and purpose.

Every nine years we all get to return to our home gua – the energy that was predominating in the year of our birth; and that is what is happening this year and through the beginning of 2014.  The presiding influence this year – the energy at the middle of the magic square – is 5 Tai Chi, the number of beginnings and endings.  This is a good year to take stock of our lives, and to make choices based upon our deepest desires for life and growth, for the seeds planted this year will have long-reaching effects.  It’s a good year to resolve old issues, and to get back up on the bike if we’ve fallen off in the past.

The teacher who shared his wisdom and insights on this wonderful guide to human character, tendencies, preferences, health, and foibles, Jon Sandifer, passed away on September 15, 2012 in the U.K.  Jon made several visits to The New England School of Feng Shui in the early 2000’s, and I was privileged to be part of the classes that he taught.  I remember him saying that you can get along with anyone if you understand where they are coming from.  He gave us a rich tool with which to find that bigger picture, and it is from this perspective that I start each one of my Feng Shui visits.  Thank you, Jon.

WHAT IS ENOUGH?

In a recent column for the Wall Street Journal, Carolyn T. Geer relates a story about a conversation between novelists Joseph Heller and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.  The two were guests at a lavish party on Shelter Island, New York.  Vonnegut joked to Heller that their host probably made more money in a day than all the earnings Heller had made from his best-selling novel, Catch-22.  Mr. Heller’s reply was something along the lines of, “Yes, but I’ve got something he can never have…enough.”

In a world of aggressive commercialism and rampant fear-based speculations about the future, it has become more and more difficult to determine just what is “enough”.  There is always something newer, better, faster on the horizon (that is, if there is a horizon at all, and we don’t just fall over another fiscal cliff.)

Eastern religions contain a concept called preta, or “hungry ghosts”.  Pretas are spirits that were jealous or greedy people in previous lives, and are pictured as beings with tiny mouths, long, skinny necks, and big, bloated, distended stomachs.  Their fate is to always be hungry and thirsty; but because of their limited ability to take in nourishment, they can never be satisfied.  These beings represent a grasping piggish energy and a sense of poverty that never quits.  In some cultures, they are shown compassion with offerings of food and drink, and serve as a reminder of how not to be.

One of the goals of Feng Shui is to find a balance between “too much” and “not enough” -- that good, healthy, nourishing place of “just right”.


Practitioners are encouraged to cultivate a wider view of life, to appreciate all the flavors of daily living, to live in the moment -- and to trust that life is a process that will not fail, despite all its ups and downs. Without this bigger picture, life devolves into a continuous state of “Catch-22” – always striving and hoping for “more”, and yet never satisfied when it gets here. With it, “enough” is just a shift of focus away.

THE BELIEVER...

As we head into another holiday season, and the stress and excitement of the upcoming festivities begin to fill our days, it’s good to take a moment to reflect upon the things for which we are truly grateful. Thanks to my friend, Catherine, for passing along the words of English writer, C.K. Chesterton, written over 100 years ago--

What has happened to me has been the very reverse of what appears to be the experience of most of my friends. Instead of dwindling to a point, Santa Claus has grown larger and larger in my life until he fills almost the whole of it. It happened in this way. As a child I was faced with a phenomenon requiring explanation. I hung up at the end of my bed an empty stocking, which in the morning became a full stocking.

I had done nothing to produce the things that filled it. I had not worked for them, or made them or helped to make them. I had not even been good – far from it. And the explanation was that a certain being whom people called Santa Claus was benevolently disposed toward me…

And, as I say, I believe it still. I have merely extended the idea. Then I only wondered who put the toys in the stocking; now I wonder who put the stocking by the bed, and the bed in the room, and the room in the house, and the house on the planet, and the great planet in the void. Once I only thanked Santa Claus for a few dolls and crackers; now I thank him for stars and street faces and wine and the great sea.

Once I thought it delightful and astonishing to find a present so big that it only went halfway into the stocking. Now I am delighted and astonished every morning to find a present so big that it takes two stockings to hold it, and then leaves a great deal outside. It is the large and preposterous present of myself, as to the origin of which I can offer no suggestion except that Santa Claus gave it to me in a fit of peculiarly fantastic good will…

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

A week ago I attended a memorial service for Dennis Delap, a Northampton realtor who passed away unexpectedly in October. Though his life had touched my own only briefly, in 2005, through the sale of my home, his caring and kindness were the qualities that made a stressful process go smoothly, and end well. As his friends, family, and colleagues came to the podium to talk about his life, I began to get a picture of the man that Dennis was – and the very many ways that his generous and intelligent spirit will live on in the people he inspired.

 
Dennis was accomplished in many areas: he studied philosophy on a Fulbright Scholarship at the university in Heidelberg,Germany; he went on to pursue a doctorate at M.I.T. and UMass; and he was an accomplished oil painter, as well as a musician. He traveled extensively, was active politically and socially, and cared about the environment, particularly about land conservation. But the gratitude and love that were expressed by the people in Dennis’ life, both personal and professional, paint a picture of a man who truly cared about others, and strived to make the world a better place. His brother-in-law offered the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson to illuminate Dennis' life --

 
   To laugh often and much;

   To win the respect of intelligent people
   and the affection of children;

   To earn the appreciation of honest critics
   and endure the betrayal of false friends;

   To appreciate beauty;
   To find the best in others;

   To leave the world a bit better, whether by
   a healthy child, a garden patch,
   or a redeemed social condition;

   To know even one life has breathed
   easier because you have lived;

   This is to have succeeded.


As we head into another holiday season, and the stress and the excitement of upcoming festivities begin to fill the days, it’s good to take a moment to reflect upon a life well-lived. As I look out into the trees, from my office window in the house that I moved to seven years ago – a house that is “just right” for my life right now -- I have to give thanks to Dennis for his guidance, support, and genuine good cheer.  You will not be forgotten...

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT...



This week I had the privilege of attending the 19^th Women Business Owners Conference co-sponsored by the Massachusetts Small Business Development Center, Western Regional Office, and held at the beautiful Willits-Hollowell Center at Mt. Holyoke. The topic this year was “Change Agents” – individuals who recognize and seize opportunities and work to improve society’s problems.  Some of their characteristics are persistence, courage, compassion, clarity, vision, and as one panel member put it, being a “pain-in-the-ass!”

The six women on the panel presented an amazing array of business experiences and life stories; and were themselves of different ages and backgrounds. The last speaker, Shalini Bahl, a consultant and researcher specializing in programs for Mindfulness in business, social media, and academia -- spoke about the ups and downs of being someone trying to make a difference in the world, but having a life to manage.  She acknowledged that there were probably people in the audience (I was one!) who were feeling that they couldn’t possibly match the energy and accomplishments of the speakers on the panel. 

Shalini said that the two things that saved her when she was in a down phase in her life were meditation and helping others.  She also encouraged us to realize the tremendous power of asking for what you want. In Feng Shui and other forms of healing work, it is true that energy follows thought, so we are always reminded to think of what we want, not what we don’t want.  If we can allow our thoughts to be positive, and, if we can stay open to possibilities, the universe unfailingly comes through with the answer to our most deeply held wishes.

I’ve also learned that in order to be able to connect with what you want, you have to “walk the walk”.  Someone in the audience asked the women on the panel what was the biggest risk that they had to take to bring about their current success.  One of the panelists, who owns a very successful marketing firm, said that she had to get a divorce, and be willing to invest all of her money in a bigger office when the firm was ready to grow. Very scary, but, she said, in both instances she had reached a place where the way ahead was very clear; she found the strength to do what needed to be done. 

At the close of the conference, Lynne Randall, the MSBDC moderator, gave all of us a challenge – to do something every day that we are not used to doing.  In small ways we can practice moving out of our comfort zone by varying routines, clearing out some clutter, reaching out to a new colleague.  Finding ways to embrace small changes within ourselves actually changes the energy around us, ultimately rippling out into the world and leading us to those people and situations that help us to grow – and be the change in the world we wish to see.

POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION...



I traveled to Fitchburg, MA last Saturday to give a workshop to a lovely group of people at the Center for Well Being.  Knowing that there has been a variety of road construction going on over the summer, I allowed extra time to arrive early and set up.  I didn’t count on the Mapquest route taking me all the way to the downtown area, only to arrive at a bridge that was closed for repair.  The McDonald’s across the street was able to supply me with a clean bathroom and directions via another bridge; but when I got over the second bridge I found that I was completely disoriented. 

After driving up and down Main Street a couple of times, I began to get anxious as I could see that the minutes were ticking by – so near and yet so far!  I finally stopped and asked a woman who was just getting into her Jeep if she knew where Bond Street was.  Yes, she did, but as she started to tell me how to get there, it became obvious that the way was complicated.  Then she said, “You know what? I’ll take you there.” 

In a few minutes that wonderful woman had guided me back through town to the other end, up some steep winding side streets, until I finally recognized where I was.  We pulled over, and as she came out to wish me a good workshop, I thanked her and said, “You’re an angel.”  She was.  After that, the day was like a breeze.

There is an area of the Bagua (the tic-tac-toe shaped map that gets laid over your floorplan) that is called Heaven, and has to do with Helpful Friends – angels in your life that make a difference when you need it. This area or gua is located at the bottom right corner of your space as you are facing in from the vantage point of your front door.  If you would like to attract more friends, or just more helpful energy in general, this is the area to work in.  The simple act of cleaning and clearing clutter, with a feeling a gratitude for all of the wonderful help that we have received during our lives – is enough to energize this area, and keep a good thing going.

I’ve decided that the best way for me to say thank you for the favor that a stranger did me last Saturday is to do the same for someone else.  As our hostess at the Center for Well Being, Bea, says, “Gratitude is a powerful emotion.”  It goes a long way to make a difference in the world…

A TIME TO HEAL...

It has been eleven years since I began my formal study of Feng Shui.  The New England School of Feng Shui held its first class that year in Worcester, MA on the Saturday following September 11.  Like everyone else, we were all struggling to understand the tragedy that had taken place a few days earlier; and, as the weekend progressed,  we came to realize that this ages-old, yet very practical, wisdom had much to offer a world in dire need of balance and hope.

Our teachers have encouraged us not to turn away from what is, but to acknowledge it; at the same time, as Feng Shui practitioners we need to be able to visualize what can be.  I see this path as a life-long practice and a way of living each day with gratitude.  And, while it cannot stop bad things from happening, it can make us stronger, more resilient, and better able to cope with whatever life brings us.

Over the past decade I have seen circumstances improve in the lives of clients and colleagues who have taken this very life-affirming practice to heart. And, yes, I have seen miracles occur, both in my own life, and the lives of those who were willing to look at their living and working spaces with new eyes. 

Our spaces act as mirrors of our inner state, affecting us deeply on both a conscious and unconscious level.  However, since we are part of our environment, we can influence and change it with the right intention -- one that is beneficial not only to ourselves, but also to the highest good of all concerned…

THE OTHER GOLD...

My dear friend, Carolyn, came for a visit last week, and it was great to catch up after a long hiatus.  Our friendship goes all the way back to sophomore year in college, when we would hang out in her tiny -- but “single” -- dorm room on Bay State Road in Boston.  I always loved escaping to Carolyn’s space because she had made it magical, whimsical, inviting, and cool – my first taste of Feng Shui, as I look back on it.  I remember being surprised and delighted by how a few objects and images, thoughtfully placed, could awaken a space to life.

Feng Shui uses an imaginary map, called the Bagua, to enhance and gather information about living and working environments.  Looking like a tic-tac-toe board, with nine equal areas, called guas, the Bagua adjusts to the shape of any floorplan.  If you are standing at the front door and looking into the space, the area at the bottom right corner is called “Heaven”, and is also known as the “Helpful Friends” area.  This is where friendships may be honored, loyal and trustworthy help may be requested, and those companions who watch over and assist us (“angels”, if you will) – are recognized.  From this energetic viewpoint, we are nudged and encouraged to be at the right place at the right time, to pick up on the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle ways) the universe is speaking to us, and to find our flow.

As the Olympic Games in London are drawing to a close, the world is savoring the display of truly amazing physical prowess of athletes from every nation.  The celebration of Olympic gold, silver, and bronze brings to mind an old camping song about friendships, new and old --“one is silver, the other – gold!”

A Native American Tale...

                                                                                

Thanks to my friend Libby for passing along this Native American teaching story.  The original source is unknown – but the message is as compelling today as when it was first told around an anonymous campfire in a time long ago.

   Once there was a little girl whose grandfather was a respected member of their community. He settled disagreements fairly, helping those in difficulty in a way that maintained their dignity. He kept peace and harmony among the people, and often was able to cure the sick and injured.  In a thousand different ways he contributed positively to people’s lives, and always did this in a way that, at the same time, supported the community as a whole. The people respected his wisdom, listened to his words, and generally followed his advice.

The little girl knew all this and was curious.  She went to her grandfather and asked him, “What is it like, being you?”

   The old man thought for a few minutes, and then he told her, “It’s like having two wolves in my head.  One snarls and bites.  It is angry at people’s foolishness and wants to fight with them and drive them away.  In addition, it wants everything for itself, the best food, the best den, the best everything.  The other wolf is different.  It wants to teach about cooperation.  It knows that every other wolf has something to offer and needs to be a valued part of the pack.  It understands that together we are stronger than any one of us is alone.  It has compassion and its actions support the welfare of the pack.  Always these two wolves are fighting with each other in my head. Always.”

The little girl’s eyes got very large and very round as she considered these things.  But she didn’t say anything.  Quietly she went away, and for a number of days she thought about what her grandfather had said.

   After some time had passed, she returned to him.  “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” she asked.  The old man replied, “The one that I feed is the wolf who wins.”

CLUTTER: THE FINAL FRONTIER...

It probably won’t be a surprise that the biggest obstacle to good Feng Shui is clutter. If we define clutter as stagnant energy, that is, anything in our life that is no longer vital to us, nourishing, cheering, satisfying, or useful in some way, then it makes sense to give ourselves permission to let it go. There are compelling arguments for holding on to things that we don’t need (for example, we might need it some day!), but lurking beneath all of this is some kind of fear – of not having enough, of what tomorrow might bring, of an unkind universe.

The process of letting go is ongoing – don’t believe those newsstand articles that claim you can do it in a weekend, with a few plastic bins from Target. However, once you start to turn a focused eye to the truth of your stuff, you are in a process that creates its own momentum; once you get going it will carry you along. This is a refreshing journey that starts to bring rewards almost immediately, with increased energy, greater clarity, and more confidence.

When you are not bogged down by the detritus of life, you will find that you are able to connect with the things that you really want to do. You will find more, passion, joy, and spark; as well as more time. There is a greater ability to cope with problems and to move forward in life. And at the end of the day, there is better rest and deeper sleep. So, far from being a discouraging reality, clutter can actually be a beacon in our lives, showing us where we’ve come from, and pointing the way to where we might go from here.